Nous Rêvons
by Dolly Madison
Summary: Haji devoted himself to Saya long before becoming her Chevalier.


A short story about the moment Haji realized he was in love with and devoted to Saya.

Takes place at "The Zoo" when Haji was about 17 or so. Comes complete with all my personal favorite romantic clichés!

Cheers :)

Ps. No matter what I do with this thing, I can't seem to fix the spacing or the font. Sorry if this requires you to get a magnifying glass.

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For the third time today, Haji ended the song that Saya had been attempting to teach him on the wrong note. And the note that he ended on was flat. "Haji!" Saya shouted, "That was awful, have you even practiced this at all?" "Well, to be honest…..no," replied Haji. "Never mind," snapped Saya, "I think you could practice for hundreds of years and still be a terrible cellist." As she said this she removed the bow from his hand with some force and used it to smack the music stand beside him. Through some miracle it remained intact. "Give it here Saya," he said, gently reaching for the bow, "I'll correct it this time." "Don't bother!" Saya pouted as she stomped off towards the open window and remained there with her arms crossed and her back towards him. Several years had passed since Haji came to live with Joel and Saya and although Saya, at Joel's insistence, had become far kinder towards him and generally refrained from ordering him around like the servant he was, there were times when she reverted to her old spoiled ways. She heard his footsteps approaching from behind. "Oh Haji, just go away you're boring me." He left the room as she demanded.

When he came searching for her later he found her sitting on a hillside near the outskirts of the estate, looking across the fields at nothing in particular. He sat down beside her but, said nothing. He'd come to an understanding over the years that they usually got along better if she did most of the talking. "I'm sorry Haji; I don't know what comes over me sometimes. It's just so frustrating being trapped here with no one but you and Joel to talk to all the time." Realizing from the subtle change in his expression that her comment had been terribly insensitive she amended her words. "Wait, I didn't mean that to sound so awful.

It's just that I've never been anywhere outside of this place. I've been reading some of the books in Joel's library and I know there is a whole world full of strange and wonderful places. Won't ever get to experience any of it?" After a long and thoughtful pause she continued. "I realize I must have come from somewhere, like you did Haji, before you lived here. I've always considered Joel to be a father but, I know he can't be my real father. What if I have an actual mother and father out there? What if they're looking for me and I'm not really alone after all." After another long pause a troublesome question surfaced. "Why is it that year after year I never get any older?" she wondered aloud. "Haji, when you first came here you were a little boy and now you're almost a man but, I'm just the same. What if whatever condition I have causes me to remain this way forever and everyone I know continues to grow up ahead of me? Eventually, they'll die and I'll have to miss them for the rest of my life, and what if the rest of my life is….. endless…..?" An uneasy look overcame her and Haji wished he could think of something to say but, he knew all possible remarks would sound hollow.

Then she said, "I've overheard Joel talking to that friend of his, Amshel. They say that all people crave the secret to immortality but, I wouldn't care to live forever if only I could see a little bit of how the world is today." "Where would you go first," he questioned. "The sea", she answered emphatically. "Why," he asked? "Because the whole world is connected by water. Even the water running through that fountain in the garden will eventually make it to sea. And, from the sea you can go anywhere. Have you ever seen it? The Ocean?" "I don't remember much of my life before I met you," he responded, "I suppose I must have traveled here somehow, perhaps on a boat." She then shot him a mischievous glance and teased, "If you promise to start practicing your cello every day, I promise I'll take you to the ocean with me." "It might be a long time Saya," he mused. "I know", she replied wistfully. "In the meantime; we could just imagine we are there", she said. "How do we do that?" he asked, "I've never really imagined anything before." She looked at him, rather annoyed, "Oh Haji, when are you going to stop relying on me to tell you everything?" Haji had no response to offer. She said, "Alright then….. fist you have to close your eyes. Now, picture everything I'm saying as if you were in a dream. Take a deep breath. Imagine the slight taste of salt in your mouth as you breathe in. "Salt?" he said. "Yes, Haji, the sea is salt water," she said. "Why would a sea be made of salt water?" he asked. Exasperated, she scolded, "I don't know Haji. After all I didn't create the world I only read about it in Joel's books. Now keep quiet, you're ruining my day dream." He continued to breathe deeply. "I can taste salt," he quietly remarked, after a few silent moments. "Now," she continued, "listen to the sound of the wind rushing through the trees. Only pretend it's not the leaves, pretend its waves crashing on the shore." She made a few steady swooshing noises, imitating the sound of water lapping at the sand. "Pretend you're looking at the horizon and instead of the familiar field in front of it there is a body of water, kind of like our fountain pond, only this one stretches as far as the eye can see." "As far as the eye can see," repeated Haji, captivated by her description. "Even past the horizon, the water continues on, for thousands and thousands of miles," she said. "If you wanted to, you could get on a ship and sail the whole way around the world back to the very spot on the shore where you started." He heard the rustle of her petticoats as she positioned herself on her back in the long grass. He lay down as well as she went on with her narration. "And you could stop along the way to see so many interesting places, Paris, London, even the pyramids in Egypt." "Pyramids?" he said. "Shhh Hagi," she reached out and gave him a light slap so as to discourage further inquiries. "We'll imagine those another time. Right now, let's just remain on the seashore OK?" "If that is what you wish Saya," he answered.

After a moment, Haji realized Saya had not withdrawn her hand from where it landed in the grass after she'd reached out to nudge him.

On impulse he curled his graceful fingers around hers, holding her hand as carefully as he would his cello bow. At once he felt as if the waves he'd been picturing had swept him out to the middle of the imaginary sea. All sight, all sound, abandoned him as he was submerged in icy water. Air could no longer pass through his lips. When he finally surfaced he prayed, not to be rescued, but to be allowed to go on drowning. He then became aware that his cheeks were flushed. He opened his eyes and stole a sideways glance at Saya to see if she were similarly affected. Her eyes remained closed and her face unchanged. It was apparent she was lost entirely in her own thoughts and that these thoughts did not include him. He closed his eyes again. After a moment he whispered "Saya, do you do this a lot? Imagine you are somewhere else?" "A lot," she confirmed, "It's the only way I'm ever _allowed_ to be anywhere else." "Do you ever imagine that anyone is there with you?" he asked, in denial of the fact that he was searching for a specific answer to that question. She said, "Well, usually I'm alone in my dreams." After a moment she drew up her hands to suppress a bout of girlish laughter. "What was that about?" he said, stealing another glance in her direction. This time she had that instinctual feeling one gets from being watched and opened her eyes to return his gaze. Again he was drowning. She gave him a rather self-conscious smile as she said, "Never mind Haji, I can't tell you." "Why not?" he said. She hesitated, "You have to promise not to laugh." "Never," he promised. She turned her face back towards the sky; too embarrassed look him in the eyes as she divulged her juvenile fantasies. "Oh, sometimes I imagine that a handsome chevalier or a charming prince like the one from Cinderella is there with me but, really I feel quite silly whenever I picture that sort of thing." "Silly why?" he said. She sighed, her mind returning to pleasant thoughts of the ocean as she explained "Because those people are all from fairy tales and Joel told me back when I was a child that fairy tales don't come true." He didn't want to take his eyes off Saya but, he was worried that at any minute she might again be stirred from her daydream and notice he was staring at her. So he shut his eyes as well and the sea was once more stretched in front of him. Haji made a silent promise to himself. From now on, for as long as he could, he would try to make sure Saya's dreams were fulfilled. He would practice his cello every day and even if it took him years he would learn to play the songs she wanted him to. Someday, he would find a way to leave this place and take her to the ocean. He would stand with her and look out at the endless expanse of water so that she wouldn't feel lonely and wouldn't have need of any fictitious companions. He had no idea how to get to Paris or London from Bordeaux and he had never considered the pyramids, but some way or another he would make sure she found them.

His thoughts were jarred by an unexpected crash of thunder. Out of nowhere; a heavy rain began to pour. He opened his eyes to see a soaking wet Saya, hair streaming down her face and a damp silk dress clinging tightly to her small frame. He expected her to be distressed but, instead she stood up and began to laugh. "Look Hagi" she exclaimed with delight, "I couldn't go to the water, so the water came to me!" "Come on Haji," she called as she began to run across the fields with her arms spread wide as if were her intention to embrace every rain drop. Afraid she had lost her mind, he followed, less enthusiastically, at a distance. "You're going to catch cold," he shouted, "I'm going inside". He motioned for her to follow him in. "I'm not going to catch cold", she shouted back, breaking into a wide smile as she collapsed onto the wet grass to catch her breath. He walked over to her. "Saya," he insisted, "Give me your hand". This time she did as he requested. "Come on Saya," he said helping her up and offering his coat although it he knew it would do her little good since it was soaked as well. She put the coat around her shoulders. Then, she leaned in cautiously and gave him the smallest of kisses on the check. He remembered from when he was young, the sisterly kisses she bestowed on him as a reward for doing something well. It had been a very long time since he felt the brush of those lips. Now she had to raise herself up on her toes instead of bending down to reach him. The pride that he had felt as the result of such a kiss during his childhood was replaced by an intense longing to pull her close. He could never again consider her an older sister. "What was that for," he inquired? "Oh I don't know,"she shrugged. She was free of the embarrassment of romantic thoughts because, in her nativity, none had come across her mind. "I guess it's been a while since the last time I was happy." She ran off again, this time towards the house. Haji imagined himself at the ocean many more times after that day. Only, his dreams were different than Saya's in that he never pictured himself alone.

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So, if that story ranked high on your SAP-O-METER and you're thinking….. Gee, two teenagers who've been friends forever planning to run away and take long walks on the beach, who then get caught in a rainstorm and fall madly in love-where I have I heard _that_ one before?...

I'd just like to say two things in my defense:

1) I gave you fair warning about the clichés

2) Do please cut me _a little_ slack; my characters were a pair of Victorian adolescents after all! ;)

Ciao for now!


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